800 Literature & rhetoric | A Tense Subjunctive

Stereotyping Readers by Their Favorite Authors

Posted in 800 Literature & rhetoric by Allison on December 19, 2009

Lauren Leto, the genius behind Texts from Last Night and Mom’s Messages, has done it again with the hilarious series “Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Author.”

I laughed so hard, I nearly peed myself while reading this list. Was that too much information? Probably.

Here are my favorites, and the ones that hit a little too close to home.

J.D. Salinger

Kids who don’t fit in (duh).

Stephanie Meyer

People who type like this: OMG. Mah fAvvv ❤ <3.

J.K. Rowling

Smart geeks.

Jack Kerouac

Umphrey’s McGee fans.

Jeffrey Eugenides

Girls who didn’t get enough drama when they were younger.

Jonathan Safran Foer

30somethings who were cool when they were 20something.

Chuck Klosterman

Boys who don’t read.

Chuck Palahniuk

Boys who can’t read.

Leo Tolstoy

Guys I want to date.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Guys I want to sleep with. (The difference between the two Russian authors lies in the fact that I think the Underground Man is sexier than Pierre Buzukhov).

Ayn Rand

Workaholics seeking validation.

Jane Austen (or Bronte Sisters)

Girls who made out with other girls in college when they were going through a “phase”.

Anne Rice

People who don’t use conditioner in their hair.

Edgar Allan Poe

Men who live in their mother’s basements. Or goth seventh graders.

Ernest Hemingway

Men who own cottages.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

People who get ARM mortgages.

Tagged with: I should get an ARM morgage, I'm still a cool 20 something, Lauren Leto, stereotyping readers

Cool bookshelves you can actually buy

Posted in 000 Generalities, 800 Literature & rhetoric by Allison on December 18, 2009

I have no idea where to put a bookshelf in the shape of an infinity symbol or the United States.

I begun a multi-hour journey looking for bookshelves that were a) not so conceptual you’d need to wear a beret while stocking it with the works of Derrida and b) actually available for purchase.

Behold, my findings. When I build my book fort, that last one is totally going in it.